Doubt is a slippery lie to fall into. Maybe not for everyone, but I have to watch my step all the time. I’m learning though and recently had yet another epiphany (I like that word).
To set the scene…it was during my early morning “me” time and like clockwork I was on the sofa, coffee in hand, worship music in my ears, bible open, pencil in hand, journal ready and waiting to be filled…waiting…and waiting. ARG…this thought kept nagging me, steeling my focus! Been there? I’ll call it what it was, a lying spirit that kept saying, rather loudly it seemed, “God won’t show up.” ??? What’s up with that?!!
During the waiting, I was reading along in Psalms 86; got to verse 2: (AMP) “… for I trust in You [leaning and believing on You, committing all and confidently looking to You, without fear or doubt].” I stopped — “without fear or doubt?” God?
The epiphany began. I wrote following in my journal:
“Lord, I realize that I am looking to You, but it’s with a measure of doubt that You won’t show up! How can I do that? Forgive me. You WILL show up – wait – You’re already here and ‘there’ (future) as You are in all realms at the same time. You know the beginning from the end. Let me ‘see’ this clearly and trust, yet again, who You ARE…”
Viewing God through soulish fear is like wearing foggy glasses. Ever open the dishwasher and immediately get hit by a cloud of steam? Ya, my point exactly; can’t see a darn thing and you’d better stop moving till it clears or your next step could be a doozy – especially the face-meets-the-floor kinda step. Ouch.
But stop, remove said glasses, wipe away the “fog” and truth becomes crystal clear, pun intended. The lie is exposed for what it is…a pit, a trap, a stumble, whatever you like to call it…right there in front of you that better be dealt with then and there, or it will affect anything having to do with faith – believing, praying trusting, standing. It limits the view of an amazing, delivering, faithful God.
So I AM dealing with that lie right now…going into “check” mode – reminding myself that God is BIGGER, STRONGER, HIGHER, DEEPER, and WIDER…than my limited viewpoint. “Clearly” going into check mode, aka the “learning process” is ongoing. As a matter of fact, that’s a good place to be! It means forward motion is in play.