Jesus and I had a chat recently. When you get right down to it, He clocked me…well sorta.
Confession time, again. I fight a bad habit, a habit of planning way too much. I mean I plan God right out of everything. Its plain old worry actually, but the pretty or not so pretty word is striving, but in my own strength.
In this case it was a day recently…my quiet time with God wasn’t going so good. Too many thoughts swirling around that I hadn’t taken control of. The reasons aren’t important; it’s the process that was. I started writing, which helps me focus my wild uncontrolled thoughts. From my journal:
“I repent of excessive planning which causes worry and occupies my mind so much that my time with You is wasted. This relentless pursuit of You is also not a striving pursuit. Can’t be or it’s in my own strength. I feel this sometimes, striving like You won’t be there or I have to act a certain way – jump through hoops to get You to act. WRONG THINKING. This pursuit is never ending BUT it’s a LOVE PURSUIT not to earn Your love but to receive it and go deep in it. To soak, yet swim. To be strong, yet at rest. I pursue you…”
Part of His response:
“Trust Me, I have this. I have you. Hold on tight today. We will walk together. Lean in, rely on, HOPE in Me. I’m the author and I’m still writing your story. It’s still unfinished… THE HALF HAS NEVER YET BEEN TOLD…”
Okay, I don’t know about you, but that last phrase isn’t something that I would expect to come from God…it’s not in my normal vocabulary, BUT, it’s familiar and is from my mom’s era… It’s a line from an old school song that was a favorite of hers, “Joy Unspeakable.” It shook me for a minute.
I asked God….really? He said “…that part was from your mom. She’s here with Me.”
Now don’t go all weird on me… I totally know there is a “great cloud of witnesses…” spoken of in Hebrews 12…
12 Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us, 2 Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection].
I know my mom is one of those witnesses. That one line is something she WOULD say and I remember her sitting at the piano singing that song in her own special way.
The “finisher” is a good word. He’s not finished yet. The story of our lives is always being written, growing and changing with twists and turns based on our own choices. He is always making edits and a revision so detailed because He knows us, I mean really knows us inside and out. What does Psalm 139 (AMP) say…?
1 O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me. 2 You know my downsitting and my uprising; You understand my thought afar off. 3 You sift and search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways. 4 For there is not a word in my tongue [still unuttered], but, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether… 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.
God surprises me with these nuggets that wash away all the mess my mind can make. It’s like finding a gold nugget deep in the earth. He washes off the muddiness little by little until that golden nugget shines so bright you can’t miss it. Take it, it’s yours.
My jar is slowly filling with these nuggets of golden goodness; His Goodness. It’s a priceless treasure, indeed.
I have found that hope so bright and clear,
Living in the realm of grace;
Oh, the Savior’s presence is so near,
I can see His smiling face…
It is joy unspeakable and full of glory,
Full of glory, full of glory;
It is joy unspeakable and full of glory,
Oh, the half has never yet been told.