What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger ~ My Portion

God sure knows what He’s doing; I forget that sometimes.  When He kept saying “WRITE,” He knew what I needed to do in order to continue my journey.  Not just the physical journey, but the spiritual one as well.  Writing has helped me be accountable, because in all truth, this journey is as much a daily walk now as it was in the beginning.  I’m just farther along.  But I do know that nothing worth accomplishing is attained without a price, a sacrifice, a choice; without digging for it.

So this brings me to where I am now. It’s where the rubber meets the road…right here, right now…smack in the middle of self-control.   Yes, I have exercised this so called “fruit” to a certain extent, however when digging down to the real core issue…this is the place of greatest struggle for me.  It’s being satisfied with “my portion,” and stopping right there.  That is the crux for me.  It’s how I got so heavy in the first place.  Wanting more and not stopping when I’ve had enough.  Even now I see it rearing its ugly head…the wanting more and more and more.  Mind you, the only difference is it’s not the wanting more burgers and fries, it’s the wanting more of…say my favorite yogurt or some other healthy thing I’m now eating; but too much of even a good thing is still too much!  Dark chocolate anyone?

The only way self-control is going to get stronger is if you use it.

~Joyce Meyer

Really ~ a Fruit of the Spirit?

I think self-control is one of the hardest areas to work through.  It’s a denial of the flesh, of WHAT I WANT in some way and it’s not a positive, feel good phrase.  Why on earth would it be listed as a fruit anyway?  What was God thinking??? Fruit is a yummy thing and self-control isn’t yummy.  Just say’n.

It all comes down to a struggle with the appetite, or I should say my appetite; I want more than what is needed, necessary.  I want more than my portion.  The struggle is within me.  My own portion fails me, still.  My flesh will choose the bigger piece, the larger portion, the more without His help. I must again dig deep into the Grace of God for strength to be satisfied with His portion for me.

Endurance

The definition of self-control is simply the “control or restraint of oneself or one’s actions…”  It’s restraining my arm from reaching out for that one more spoonful, one more bite.  I’ve had a few victories along the way, yes, but I have a long way to go to exercise this part of my spiritual life.  Even though I’m writing about a physical action, self-control is every bit as much a spiritual exercise as it is a physical one.

2 Peter 1:5-6 AMP

For this very reason, adding your diligence [to the divine promises], employ every effort in exercising your faith to develop virtue…and in [exercising] virtue [develop] knowledge (intelligence), and in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness…

See how first there’s an exercise and then developing into the next area of spiritual growth?  Action, pushing the plate away, exercising self-control will bring the fruit – endurance (and more weight released too!).  Endurance is strength for the journey – to keep going forward.  I need endurance – my journey isn’t over yet.  And, I can truly say that I’m so thankful for His Portion!  He never fails me!

Psalms 73:26 AMP

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the Rock and firm Strength of my heart and my Portion forever.

The path that is before me is a bit rocky to walk through.  Self-control ‘feels’ like its killing me and it is…more of my flesh is dying.  In the end, however, it WILL make me stronger.

So today I declare this again ~

I WON’T EVER GO BACK!  I WON’T GIVE UP, NO NEVER!

Now you know where I’m at…for the moment…only this time you’re reading about it when it’s happening vs. several years down the road when I’ve gotten victory over it.

I hope you’ll stick around to see the end result.

Thoughts?

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3 thoughts on “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger ~ My Portion

  1. This is so raw for me. I have just started my journey of faith in this area. I am amazed at the layers needed in this process. Thank you for the scriptures you used. I see them in a different light. Lord please give me the strength to be satisfied with your portion for me.

    • I’m so glad you’ve actually begun the journey – that’s half the battle right there. Don’t give up! Read about my journey on the post “Wings to Fly” to give you more info on what I did from a spiritual stand point and also the part 2 has all the different things I did to get this far. Be encouraged, you CAN do it!

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